My Body Is Not Your Business! FAT and NOT Ashamed!

Source: Austen Marie

FAT! UNDESIREABLE! UNATTRACTIVE! MORBIDLY OBESE! ASHAMED! UNWANTED! UNLOVED! SUB HUMAN! JUDGED! UNWORTHY! IRRELEVANT! UGLY! OBESE! HIDEOUS! DON’T DESERVE TO BE ALIVE! WASTE OF SPACE!

These are sadly words I’ve used to describe myself or how I have been made to feel. Some of the words are facts, I am obese but that isn’t all that I am. But the derogatory terms are how people and the media have made me feel. And it’s not right. I am much more than my size.

I have never felt prouder of the plus sized community than I have in the last few months. And I wanted to properly introduce myself and share my story with everyone. I have been working on this post for several months, tweaking and adding bits to it but never felt it was the right time to post. But with everything that has been going on in the blogging world, on social media, youtube and the actual media regarding the plus sized community there has never been a better time to share this.

I’m on the quest for a happier, healthier and more confident me. But before I get there I still have to deal with want to accept my body and what I look like now. I am so fed up of the fat shaming going on. Fat shaming is a real thing, even if some people think it isn’t, and by people I mean Nicole “the troll” Arbour. I’m not naive, it’s not that fat shaming is getting worse it’s just that more people have more platforms to voice their stupidity and ignorance. Because of these people I was afraid to put myself out there. I was afraid to upload photos of myself in full. I was afraid to eat around people because they would judge the “fatty” enjoying food. But not anymore. I’m shouldn’t have had to hide away. And I finally started to feel this way in the last year or so. I’m still not even close to being 100% confident or happy but I’m making steps towards that. Before I was just at the start line, now I’m on the track making my way to the finish line. Feeling confident and getting myself esteem back is my main focus.

I’m FAT! I don’t need YOU to tell me that. I have lived with myself for 26 years and haven’t forgotten that. For too long I’ve allowed the irrelevant thoughts and opinions of others affect my life. One of the biggest issues I faced as a fat person is fashion. No matter what I wear, no matter how expensive or nice the item, I am still going to look fat. I can’t hide my fat and rolls. And I no longer worry about what I wear or worry about what people think about what I wear. There have been many a morning or night out where I’ve wanted to cry because I had nothing to wear or worried about someone staring at me or shouting some mean comment. I am me and need to fully embrace that. I may not be happy with what I’ve got, but I’m working on changing that. I’m done being ruled by societies vision of what pretty/attractive is. I’m done allowing people’s judgements to stop me from doing what I want to do. So f*** those people, their opinion and the horse that brung ya! (If you’ve seen mask of Zorro you’ll understand that reference). The only opinion that matters is mine and the people I care about.

It makes me so sad/mad that people feel to have negative opinions on the way others look. You don’t know their story or why they are the size they are. They assume obese people are unhealthy and just stuff their faces all day. There are obese people out there healthier than some of you slimmer people reading this. I always have checks done. I don’t have diabetes, my heart is fine, and I have normal kidney and liver function. My cholesterol is normal and I don’t have high blood pressure. Minus back pain and PCOS I am fine. PCOS is partly why I gain weight and why it’s harder for me to lose it. I’m just so fracking fed up with every tom, dick and harry thinking they can have a negative opinion on the fat community. Worry about YOUrself and what YOU put into YOUr body.

Being this size does not make me a bad person. You may look at me and think I’m ugly but that’s on you. It saddens me that people can’t look past a person’s exterior and see them for what they are on the inside. In a perfect world maybe. But just so you know you are missing out on some awesome people because you choose to go by what society deems to “acceptable”.

I admit it I’ve never made the best choices when it came to food. But all I can do is learn from my mistakes and try and move on and make better choices. I have a long way to go before I am where I want to be, but like I said, I’m getting there.

So when you think to judge a fat person whether out loud, in your head or online just remember you don’t know their story. And making those comments and assumptions just makes you an a-hole.

I wanna shout out some women that fully embody the body confidence movement. And have helped me on my journey. They are so inspirational and all round lovely women.

 Tess Holliday
Callie Thorpe
Danie Vanier
Gracie Francesca
Georgina Horne
Meghan Tonjes
Whitney Way Thore
 Loey Lane
Steph Yeboah
Lucie (Lucie Loves It)

These women have no idea how much they have helped me and for that I want to say THANK YOU!

Just search some plus size related hashtags and you will find some awesome inspiring women and men.

So for those girls and guys out there struggling, please look inside yourselves and see how amazing and worthy you are. I had to do some serious soul searching, but I am finally ready to dedicate myself to getting healthy. 

Sonya xoxo

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*all products mentioned were purchased by me with my own money except where marked with an asterisk (*) or stated, everything is my own view and I have not been paid to do this post*