It’s that time again
where Sonya has gone ages without blogging and starts to question EVERYTHING. I
have written a couple blogs with the same kind of thing that I am about to say,
I feel like I go through this cycle every year like clockwork.
One thing I love about
my blog is that I can be 100% honest, maybe sometimes I’m too honest. But this
is my space and I feel like I can share things about how I’m feeling on here. And
sometimes sharing problems and how you overcome them can possibly help someone
else.
For several months now
I’ve been feeling very meh about my blog, as you can probably tell from how
infrequently I post.
I used to really love it but the more popular it became the more inadequate
I felt. I became a lot more critical of myself and my abilities. When I started
blogging I was blogging for myself and my own amusement. But when the blogger/YouTube
world started to become inundated with people I started to feel like a little
tadpole in a large ocean of content creators. I then started blogging not just
for myself but for the idea of it becoming a career and the numbers. I became
obsessed with increasing my numbers across social media and the more the
numbers didn’t really change the more down I got on myself. I became super critical
and lost ALL confidence in myself and my abilities. I got to a point where I
wouldn’t even post anything without someone else reading it first to make sure it
was good enough. Blogging to me will probably never become a full time thing
for me, maybe because of my confidence, my race, my appearance or just because
no one really gives a shit about what I have to say lol. But either way I’m
still gonna keep posting on here and enjoy having a hobby that let’s me escape
from all of the stress of my life…I know such dramatics lol.
You guys are probably bored of the amount of times I take breaks from
blogging but unfortunately my life throws me a lot of unwanted curve balls and
I just gotta roll with it.
I’ve been blogging for
nearly 6 years on and off and it’s never been a full time thing for me. I work
and have bills, and I can’t always justify buying new products that I don’t
need to create a post and keep content flowing. Believe me I would love to do
that but unfortunately I am not in a position to do so.
I know I’ve said all
this before but I’m back here again, and with my depression, anxiety and lack of confidence I'm sure I'll feel this way again at some point. I wanna write this to remind me
(and anyone else who can relate) not to be so hard on myself and enjoy this for
what it is.
With all this being
said, I thought I’d end this post on a positive and create a list of some of my
favourite posts to remind myself that I am a good blogger, who has the ability
to produce good content. It also shows me how far I’ve come and shows me what
areas I need to improve on.
This list is mostly
for me, but for those of you who just happen to come across my blog this is
like my highlight reel:
Goals for my blog:
- To
not make big promises or set schedules until I feel I can fully commit to that.
I’ve come up with ideas and series that haven’t managed to happen, and then
I feel like a failure/liar. The amount of apology posts and hiatuses my blog
has been through is crazy. I actually forget how crazy my life can be and how
much it affects blogging.
- Stop overthinking and just write what is on my mind.
- And
most importantly do it for myself. If someone comes along who seems to enjoy
what I have to blurt out on my little place on the internet great…WELCOME!
Sonya xoxo
Follow Me :)
*all products mentioned were purchased by me with my own money except where marked with an asterisk (*) or stated, everything is my own view and I have not been paid to do this post*
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