Friday, 5 August 2016

Things You Shouldn’t Say To Fat Girls

As a plus size woman I have been subject to a lot of unsolicited "advice". Sometimes things said to me come from a "good place", but some are just general douchey comments. Either way being fat is not grounds for family/friends or trolls to hand out unwanted commentary. I'm gonna share with you guys some of the annoying things I've been told.

1. "Should you be eating that?" – You don’t know my eating habits. If I am out to dinner no I’m not gonna order a salad or something with Quinoa or Kale. If I want a creamy full fat pasta dish or giant burger with fries and onion rings I’m gonna have it. I’m out PAYING for a meal so I’m gonna enjoy it. If I'm kickin it on the sofa with a bag of crisps and chocolate bar, please have several seats before commenting.

2. "Do you think you should wear that?" – We as a plus size community get told all the time what we should wear and what doesn’t look good on us, i.e. stripes, form fitting and bright colours. Well I say f*** that if you like a certain type of clothing and you feel good in it you rock that s***.

3. "Just talk to him/go out with him" aka you should appreciate the attention - Apparently being fat means you are not allowed to have standards. Well as a human being like everyone else I am allowed to be choosy when it comes to picking out a partner, regardless of what I look like.

4. "You’d be so pretty if you lost some weight" – If I had a £1 for every time someone said this to me (including family members)… *huge eye roll*. Being overweight does not make someone ugly. This is what is wrong with society.

5. "Are you happy with the way you look?" – That is none of your business. Whether I am or not has no affect on anyone else's life, but MY OWN. Being fat doesn't equal hating your body ever heard of body positivity?

6. “You’re not fat.” – This is the biggest f*****g kick in the teeth. Yes I am fat. I’m not deluded and I know exactly what I look like. If I say I'm fat do not respond with the above, like fat is a dirty curse word. Don't get me wrong when it's being used in a derogatory/mocking tone I have a problem, but other than that I'm OK with the word. It's a word that describes my body. So please don’t be a tool and spout off this nonsense, even if you’re coming from a “good place”.

7. "Have you thought about going on a diet/joining a gym?" Most people I know who are over weight at some point thought about or have been on 1 or several diets in their life. I've spent a majority of time worrying about losing weight and has made me very unhappy. And don't assume big people don't exercise. If you aren't obsessed about food and calories but exercise you will maintain your weight. And even if you didn't exercise or diet that's no one else's business. YOUR health = YOUR business.

9. "Do you know being this size can lead to...*insert illness here*". The struggle it is to go to the GP and get them to listen to your medical woes without them relating it back to your weight is REAL. Or you get the condescending talk about how you need to lose weight or won't live past a certain age. AND the amount of people who think they are qualified doctors that give advice on how I should look after myself is a joke. 
No one gets on smokers, drinkers and drug users like this, it's such a double standard. I know my body, I know the risks being overweight can carry, but again it's for me to tackle as and when I feel like it.

So before you feel like giving unwanted "advice", stop and think about the following:
1. Is what I'm about to say useful? 
2. Will this be taken well? 
3.Will this hurt someone's feelings?

Feel free to share comments you've received below.

Check out my Fat Girl Myths post.

Sonya xoxo
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*all products mentioned were purchased by me with my own money except where marked with an asterisk (*) or stated, everything is my own view and I have not been paid to do this post*

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